Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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