guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
