It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
