Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
