True but thats because hes a fetus.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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