imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
