After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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