Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
