and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
