Plan B is the new Plan A
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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