Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
