i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
