he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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