The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
