Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
