We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
