I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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