How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
