i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
