so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
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