is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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