He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
