Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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