You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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