Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
wow bdsm is so cute
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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