Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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