You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
