Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Hippo gnu deer
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
