How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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