I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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