And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
