ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
did you just send me my own nude
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize