it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
