So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
