im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
it's like heaven, but drunker
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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