I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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