Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
