Need sex. Gaining weight.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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