I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
