Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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