I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
