He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
