U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
