just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
