I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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