He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Found the puke drawer
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
