he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
