You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
