I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
