so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
