I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
