you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
