you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
