but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
