Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize