Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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