glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
