I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
