I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize