can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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